Having good self-esteem is when we value, respect and love ourselves. It is something we have to nurture to maintain. Here are five ways we can keep our self-esteem topped up.

Knowing You are the Light of your own Life because you are born worthy of all the love your heart can hold doesn’t mean you constantly feel good about yourself. We all have dips in how we feel about ourselves, even if we’re extraordinarily successful or have fulfilling personal lives. It’s normal to experience the occasional “blue day:” a day when we’re feeling out of sorts and down in the dumps.

Feeling “blue” is typically a fleeting experience. If there’s a time when these feelings aren’t going away, it’s important to consider whether you may be experiencing a level of depression or other ailment that may warrant you getting it checked out with your family doctor. Don’t disregard it if you are experiencing longer periods of melancholy. There is help available – professionals who are trained to help people. Your overall well-being is important. You are important.

Other times we may feel down is when we beat ourselves up over something we said or did that we wish we could take back and do over. If apologizing would help you feel better in these instances, you can apologize to the person you inadvertently hurt. You can read more about apologies and how they help us in my Blog Article #13 entitled Apologies Mean So Much.

Forgiving Ourselves Our Mistakes

Sometimes it’s ourselves that we need to forgive if we’ve made a mistake that hurts us and not others. We’re only human, so we will make mistakes – maybe even everyday! So, you can see how forgiving ourselves our mistakes is important as we go through life so we don’t build up a huge negative view of ourselves. If we choose not to forgive ourselves our mistakes, we would really be only hurting ourselves in the long run.

Have you ever made a mistake and then said to yourself, “How could I have been so stupid? Why did I do that? I shouldn’t have done that. Now look at what I’ve caused myself.” I certainly have.

Last year, I made a huge mistake that only hurt myself – or rather my vehicle! I was leaving a venue at night and was parked in an unfamiliar parking lot that wasn’t well illuminated. I was backing up out of my parking spot which happened to be located next to a cement pillar. I could see I was getting close to the pillar in my rearview camera while I was backing up slowly, but thought I still had room to manoeuvre. I didn’t. My vehicle scraped up against the pillar resulting in noticeable body damage to my car. I inflicted this damage to my car, so I only had myself to blame… and blame I did. I didn’t cry over an inanimate object, but I was just so angry at myself.

I held onto this regret for a few days, even up to when I brought my vehicle into the autobody shop to get it repaired. The owner of the shop was very personable, so I ended up telling him that I had caused this damage to my car and felt really stupid about it. He could tell I was upset. He said, You know, these things happen, but the most important thing was that you were not hurt. Of course, I knew this to be true and it sounds so silly to repeat it here, but those words from someone who sees automobile body damage every workday did the trick to soothe and dissipate my frustration and disappointment in myself.

Yes, it was only a car and it could be repaired. To make the situation even less problematic, the kind owner presented me with options for the repair so I could save some money if I wanted, the repair was expertly done such that you’d never know there had been damage and the work was completed a couple of days earlier than predicted even though the body shop was very busy. The owner happened to squeeze my car into his repair schedule. I have since recommended this autobody repair business to my family and friends. This kind owner really helped to turn a negative into a positive.

Don’t allow the mistakes you make in life to negatively affect how you judge yourself. Be easy on yourself and forgive yourself your mistakes. The quicker you can make peace with the “mistakes” you make in your life, the less stress and frustration you will experience, the more joy you can inject into your life, and the better you will maintain healthy self-esteem.

Here’s five more ways you can bolster your self-esteem to keep it at a good level:

1. Don’t compare yourself to others. This is a losing proposition that does not honour the unique and special human being that you are. Just as there will always be someone smarter than you or more skilled athletically, there will always be someone less intelligent than you or less athletically skilled; so why bother comparing yourself to someone else? There are billions of people in the world – just this fact alone shows how futile it is comparing yourself to anyone else. There is only one You and You are a gift to the world.

2. Take a moment to mentally recall what you consider to be your most stunning achievement. It could be something deeply personal that only you know about or it could be something of which others are aware. It doesn’t matter. As long as it was a gloriously momentous moment in your life is all that matters. Store the memory of this wonderful feeling in the forefront of your brain so that you can easily recall it when you need to give yourself a little pep talk. You were deserving of this tremendous moment in your life then and you are deserving of it now and always. No matter what has gotten you feeling down, it does not negate how worthy you are to experience great triumphs in your life. The best is yet to come!

3. You are worthy and certainly just as worthy as the next person. The next time you are up for consideration for a new job or promotion or something that others are in the running for also, keep in mind that you are just as good as the next person in the competition. Why not you? Yes, why not? Even if another person is chosen in a particular instance, this in no way diminishes what your worthiness was for that opportunity. Often, the “loss” of one opportunity for us opens the door for another better opportunity to take its place. So, it’s a wise practice to bounce back quickly from momentary “setbacks.” The next wonderful opportunity for you could be just around the corner.

4. Remember that you are doing the best you can. Even when you falter a little bit, get behind in your schedule or don’t accomplish everything you had planned to get done on a given day, you are still moving forward and you are still amazing. Things don’t always go according to plan and that’s not always a bad thing! Maybe something more interesting or more important came up. Great! Adjust your plan or make new plans. Such is life. Sometimes, you just need a break (or a quick nap). You deserve it! There is no competition as to “who is the best at running their lives.” No one is judging you, so why should you judge yourself? (And, IF anyone IS judging you, that is their issue, not yours. So, you can forget about it.) Give yourself credit and the benefit of the doubt. You ARE doing the best you can. And that is more than good enough. You are enough.

5. Not only do you deserve a break, but you also deserve a little self love. When you prioritize spending time to relax, or choose to pamper yourself, or maybe meditate, read or listen to soothing music, you are nurturing your soul and valuing your body for how it takes you through life. By treating yourself with tender loving care, you are expressing that you love yourself which is the key to having good self esteem. You are worth it!

Having good self-esteem enables true happiness and contentment to flourish in your life. When we love, respect and value ourselves, the sky is the limit as to how much love, joy and success we can attract into our lives.

You are the Light of your own Life. Nurture your light and let it shine for all the world to see.