We can challenge our perception of women’s beauty. Isn’t it time we do so?

The Beauty Industry exists to sell products

It’s an old marketing ploy that tells women that our faces should be wrinkle-free, or, at least, that we should strive to diminish the appearance of fine lines and wrinkles, to reclaim our once-youthful appeal – or even just to present ourselves well in society. Hmm, who says so? Who made up this advertising pitch? Isn’t it interesting that this same pitch is not made to men?

Skincare and cosmetic companies have created a multi-billion-dollar industry by successfully promoting the premise that youthful wrinkle-free skin is the ideal of female beauty – no matter the age of a woman. If we think about it, we should be able to reject this premise based on real life because, of course, our skin ages as we age. It would be weird if it didn’t. 😉 And when skin ages, it often develops fine lines and wrinkles.

Never do we see ads that proclaim how men can reduce the appearance of their fine lines and wrinkles. In fact, men are typically regarded as distinguished-looking and even more handsome as they age. Well, women can claim for themselves this same thinking. Why should we not? We can adopt a paradigm shift that celebrates the glorious aging of women.

Some women of a certain age say they feel “invisible”

To know that anyone feels invisible in society is sad for me to contemplate. For women who feel this way as they have gotten older, I’m here to say I see you and so do the humans you interact with in your life. You are, indeed, visible, my friend. When you know deep within yourself that you are worthy and a wonderful human, you step into your power. Your belief in yourself is strong. You won’t feel invisible ever again because you understand that others don’t validate you. You validate you. You are the Light of your own Life. Your gained knowledge and wisdom is so needed in your community and in the world. You are growing into a woman of substance – the woman you were meant to be. A woman coming into her own. A woman who knows herself and loves herself. You are Enough and always will be.

Yikes! I have a wrinkle!

I remember when I looked in the mirror at around age 40 and noticed my first wrinkle. My first thought, which I muttered to myself, was: “You have got to be kidding me!” I literally shrunk back aghast. Oh my, I thought, why didn’t I appreciate my line-free face just days before? Now, those days are over! I was shocked and sad. Feeling sorry for myself. I have three deep vertical wrinkles on my forehead between my eyes. They didn’t start to form until my late thirties. I have sometimes been a little self-conscious of them because I don’t like how they look. My Mom told me that I was always scrunching up my face when I was concentrating on a task or trying to figure something out. Maybe, this is how these wrinkles came to be. And my face just stayed like that! So, I have spent some time regretting scrunching up my face all those many years. I realize now that those wrinkles are simply evidence that I can focus quite intently on getting the job done. We can change a negative into a positive when we decide to turn our thoughts in a direction of gratitude. I’ve since noticed some famous women who have a similar wrinkle pattern (they are good at focus, too, no doubt!) and it just adds to their intelligent look!

And maybe others I interact with don’t even notice my wrinkles. Don’t we sometimes feel self-conscious about something about our appearance that others simply don’t see or care about? Other people are too busy thinking about their own lives and their own perceived shortcomings to think about what we imagine are our shortcomings. We can be our own harshest critic. We need to stop that! 😉

The Beauty of Youth inevitably fades

There’s no doubt that there is a universal idea of female physical beauty, on display by many a famous actor or model. With respect to models, you will notice that photos of them in fashion magazines are often airbrushed, even to remove the appearance of pores! In real life, these models do not look like the airbrushed photos of themselves, nor would I expect they’d want to. These photos are not realistic in capturing human beauty.

Sadly, we’ve seen some famous women, who were celebrated for their physical beauty in their youth, drawn to a perceived need for cosmetic surgery due to pressures they feel to stay young. No one can stay young. It is risky to undergo surgery of any type, including plastic surgery. There are also no guarantees of a fabulous outcome. While some women have had successful cosmetic surgery, we all know of unfortunate ones who have not. I would not judge any woman who undergoes cosmetic surgery; it is a very personal decision.

Other famous women, who were similarly regarded as beautiful when they were younger, have chosen to age naturally and not pursue surgical intervention. They are fortunate to possess the self-knowledge that they are enough and just as beautiful as when they were younger, or maybe even more so. They choose to stand strong in the public eye, rejecting the conventional promoted notion of beauty. These women have the fortitude to withstand the pressures of the film or fashion industry. I find their strength – in the face of possible public criticism – admirable.

We feel young in our minds no matter our aging looks

One universal truth, for both women and men, is that as we get older we don’t feel we are the chronological age that we are. We still feel young. Perhaps a big part of this can be attributed to the awareness about proper nutrition, living a healthy lifestyle including not smoking, and having access to better healthcare and dental care. So, 50 really is the new 40 and 60 is the new 50, etcetera. But also, our thoughts seem to gravitate to our younger days with our memories being so vivid. In our mind’s eye, we can see ourselves living our earlier ages. I am 65, almost 66, and I find it difficult to grasp my current age because I don’t feel like how I thought 65 would feel. In my mind, I feel like I’m in my forties.

My mother would often say, quite nonchalantly, that age is just a number. She believed that to her core. She was always young at heart. She kept living her life doing the things she enjoyed without giving a thought to what age she was. Maybe the thinking that age is just a number is the answer after all.

So, what is beauty anyways, then?

It has been said that beauty is in the eye of the beholder – an expression first attributed to Plato. It is true that whom one person finds beautiful, another person may not. The meaning of beauty is probably unique to each of us.

I find a woman is her most beautiful when she is happy and contented. When she’s smiling and her eyes light up. When she’s confident (but humble) and extremely comfortable in her own skin. It has nothing to do with her age, whether her face has any wrinkles or whether she’s super fit. She knows who she is, and she loves who she is.

This consideration of beauty, by the renowned female film actor Anouk Aimée, is apt: “You can only perceive real beauty in a person as they get older.”

I have come to appreciate the pure beauty in the aging of skin, its wrinkles telling the story of a life lived. I’m glad to see the disparaging descriptor “crow’s feet” being replaced by terms such as “laugh lines.” Anti-Aging thinking is passé. It’s now, thankfully, called Pro-Aging. It’s wonderful to see this awakening in society, to see photographs of naturally aging women who have such a magnetic presence about them. How captivating they are. How utterly beautiful they are. If you take a moment to observe the face of an elderly woman, it is quite remarkable. It’s especially lovely if you happen to see her smile and her eyes twinkle. This proves to me that true beauty shines from within – at any age a woman may be.

Skin care is self-care

Although creams, lotions and serums from beauty industry companies won’t halt the aging of our skin, some products may help to keep our skin moisturized, nourished and dewier in appearance – and they need not be expensive. Both women and men can take care of their skin, the largest organ of the human body. There are many products made from natural ingredients that may be safer for our skin than products which contain chemicals. It is something nice we can do for ourselves – to give care and attention to our precious skin. We can make skin care a part of a pampering routine that can soothe us, cleanse away the troubles of the day and give our skin a fresh glow to last throughout the night as we sleep to rest and rejuvenate our minds and bodies.

Loving our skin, wrinkles and all, as we age in our power and grace

We can be in awe of our precious skin that carries us through our life and protects our inner organs and bones. How it miraculously heals, so quickly and so well. Its resilience and strength mirroring our inner resilience and strength. When we value our beautiful skin, wrinkles and all, we can be truly grateful for how it lovingly hugs us as we grow and mature through the years. We reap many blessings as we age, including being able to age which is denied to some.

Our fine lines ARE fine, and our wrinkles are our well-earned badge of living and learning, of feeling and caring. We do become more beautiful as we age when our hearts grow with love and our eyes glisten with gratitude.

We CAN embrace a new beauty paradigm by celebrating our glorious aging.